I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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