Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Its about making memories worth repressing
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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