Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
