his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
