yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
FUCK WHALES
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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