that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
