My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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