Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
