so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
