its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
