Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
