hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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