Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize