I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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