Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
we're so committed to being not committed
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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