I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
