He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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