Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize