My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
