R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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