He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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