So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
