Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
