I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize