Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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