matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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