wakey wakey hands off snakey
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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