I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
