I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
