Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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