Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize