I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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