I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just high enough for therapy.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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