Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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