if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
