She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
im on a boat
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