I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize