I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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