what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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