btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
