I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
