Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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