I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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