I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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