Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
