cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
