marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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