So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
