I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
