This dress was meant to end up on your floor
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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