Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
