Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Send help, water and tortillas.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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