it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize