you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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