so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
