lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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